Battles

[Dreamy]

@MJG017 yes it's horrible when lives are taken way too soon. Yes that toll it takes mentally when you are going through it yourself is hard and it doesn't matter how positive you try to be it's always going to have an impact. I'm so glad you have some supportive people around you now, you definitely deserve all the support you can get. That's what makes all the difference is having others to lean on when things are tough. The forums here is the only support network I have and I'm grateful to have it, but it would be nice to have people in real life.

[MJG017]

@Dreamy

It is definitely very helpful to have people around.  But when it's only a couple of people, it's still a lot of time alone with only your thoughts.  So having someone supportive, whether in person or online can't be underestimated.  Obviously though talking to someone face to face feels closer though.  I guess the problem for me is I've never really been very good at opening up to anyone in person. So I definitely see the pros and cons of each. 

[Dreamy]

@MJG017 yes that's very true. Face to face offers a different type of connection but yes it can be hard to open up, whereas online it doesn't feel as hard. 

[Dreamy]

@moderator is anyone around please? 

Woke up having a panic attack and I've tried everything to calm myself down. Things have been really intense with my thoughts and urges so I tried to reach out to crisis services but I've been let down and I'm just really struggling to not lose control right now. 

[MJG017]

@Dreamy 

I just saw you last message, I know it's been a few hours since you wrote it but I just wanted to reach out and check to see how you're doing now.  I'm around to chat if you want to.

[Dreamy]

Thanks @MJG017. I'm ok, just gets really rough during the nights sometimes. I have to get up and go to the shops, really not looking forward to that. 

How are you going today, you got anything planned? 

[MJG017]

@Dreamy 

Yes, the nights are so hard!  There's not much to distract ourselves with in all that darkness and silence.  Sometimes the days are just spent recovering from getting through the night.  Luckily I can get some sleep at the moment.  I remember just how difficult it made it when I struggles to get much sleep on top of everything else.

No plans here today.  Just to get through another day seems to be the current plan.  I hope your visit to the shop is at least uneventful.  It does seem to be busier on Sunday's so hopefully you get there at a quieter time.

[Dreamy]

@MJG017 yes once the darkness and silence kicks in everything seems to start spiralling. The days are very much spent recovering from the night but then also worrying about facing the next night and what it may bring. I'm glad you are getting some sleep at the moment and hopefully it stays that way for you. 

Yes making it through another day is the current plan for me aswell. The shops have been busier lately cos of school holidays aswell but most children start going back from tomorrow so hopefully the shops will quieten down again. Fingers crossed it's uneventful, just gotta try to keep my anxiety under control and avoid having any major panic attacks. Could be a challenge given that I'm already anxious and being tired really isn't helping that. 

[MJG017]

@Dreamy 

When you go to the shop, don't forget to wear your cloak of invisibility.  Go in, get your stuff, get out and no one will see you.

[Dreamy]

@MJG017 ahhh yes I shall definitely use my cloak of invisibility in one of the shops today. Unfortunately one requires me to have alot of contact with the sales people, really not looking forward to that especially cos there's all new staff so I may not get anyone i know. Eeekk just the thought of that is making me start panicking 😂. Gotta write out a list of things I need to get so I don't forget anything, brain is really not doing great with remembering things lately.