Battles

[Dreamy]

@AuntGlow I've got music blasting cos I'm trying to drown everything out but it's not working. My thoughts are so loud, it's like someone screaming at me. 

I'm constantly moving around cos I'm scared to stop, if I stop i don't know what will happen. 

Really working hard to keep myself safe and not SH but what else can I do when it feels like nothing is working or giving me that pressure release that I need. 

[AuntGlow]

It really sounds like your mind and body are asking for a big release, doesn't it? @Dreamy 

I wish I could give you a hug! Know that I am sending one virtually. 💛

What would it be like to punch or scream into a pillow? Or even allow yourself to cry? Do these options feel possible at all? 

I know things are feeling big and how easily this can become all-encompassing for you, but I want to help keep you as safe as possible. Could you give Lifeline a call? 

[Dreamy]

@AuntGlow and the only thing that gives me that release I'm trying really hard not to do because it's getting too risky. 

I already tried that, well not so much a pillow but something harder and it didn't even help. 

I can't even form words at the moment so calling lifeline isn't an option. I hate how I can feel everything building up inside of me and I've got no safe way of releasing it.

Thankyou for those hugs ♥️

[AuntGlow]

I understand @Dreamy. I know it's a lot right now and we will figure out the best strategies for you in time, okay?

For now, I want to make sure you are safe, so can you please try to start a chat with Lifeline.

You may even benefit from calling them or Beyond Blue and saying, "I just need someone to be here while I cry." This may help you to move through some of these bigger feelings with some co-regulation. 

I have to go home now, I am sorry! But I will check-in when I am back on Sunday.

Try to refer to your safety plan and the suggestions we have discussed tonight. 💕

[Dreamy]

@AuntGlow ok. Maybe I'll try later but I just can't right now, i don't want to risk getting even more worked up trying to communicate with someone. 

Have a good night and thankyou for the support ♥️

[Dreamy]

@rav3n are you still around? 

[Ru-bee]

Hi @Dreamy Rav3n's finished for the evening as well.

It sounds like you're having a really tough night tonight. If you are needing that one on one support @AuntGlow's suggestion of using Lifeline or BeyondBlue chat options could be a good move if you're not quite up to a phone call. And of course, keeping connected with the community here as long as that's helpful, and taking breaks whenever you need to 💜

[Dreamy]

Hi @Ru-bee, just trying to keep connected here at the moment. 

How are you going? 

[Ru-bee]

I'm going okay @Dreamy have been having my anxiety popping up a little over the past few days so I've been trying to make sure I get lots of sleep and stay on top of my self-care which is helping 🙂 so are lots of doggy cuddles

Speaking of, how's Casper going? Is he giving you some puppy cuddles tonight?

[Dreamy]

@Ru-bee sorry to hear the anxiety is popping up a bit but well done for keeping up with the self care and getting sleep. Doggy cuddles always help. 

Casper is doing well, he was helping with folding up the washing and by helping i mean trying to steal the socks while I'm trying to pair them 😂. His vest came yesterday, i did post some pics earlier if you want to see 😊.