I can’t cope

[Christheart]

@Captain24 You aren't alone, you have us. I know it's not quite the same as physical presence, but this forum family can still be there for you. You can share as much or as little as you want. 

I hope you're feeling safe and calm tonight, 

If not, I hope you can get a good night's rest and try again tomorrow. That's what I bank on. Please don't lose hope...

Christheart 

[Captain24]

I had a look @tyme but I don’t live in the correct area. I’ll have a go in the morning anyway. I’m not sure I qualify. 

I can’t get into my gp until the 28th July. I’m just going to have to do my best until the 12th when i see the Pdoc. 

I feel like every corner I turn it just gets harder and harder. I have never felt so alone. I don’t know how much longer I can take it. 

[tyme]

Well the good news is, we are trialling these 5 PHNs, but in the not-too-distant future, we will hopefully expand to other catchments @Captain24 . So please don't give up hope. In the meanwhile, once again, please know the drop-in line is still available to you on 1800 187 263. I know sometimes you have trouble connecting, but I'd encourage you to keep trying.

There is hope, and in the future, you'll look back and be able to see how far you have come.

Holding your hand through this darkness,

tyme

[Captain24]

😢😢

[tyme]

When do you start your next round of work? You never cease to amaze me in that you are able to do those long hours.... @Captain24 . 

It may seem tough for now, and sometimes if you are looking for that immediate connection, maybe even live webchats are helpful? Have you tried those?

tyme

[Captain24]

I go back to work on Monday @tyme. It’s the good one though. It’s only 2 days and 2 nights. So 50 hrs and I managed that last time. 

I did try a web chat but I did find the call easier to share than the chat I was on. The hard thing is it’ll be a different person so I have to start again. I got it all out but now I need help to work through it. 

[tyme]

Sounds like a better shift this time than last time's @Captain24 . I'm sure you will be able to smash it out victoriously. 

People have different preferences. I prefer to write/type over speaking. But if you find speaking easier, that's great! You can get more out - quicker! 

I hear you when you mentioned now working on getting through what you got out. Go gentle on yourself. This takes time. If it makes things easier, it's taken me close to 15 years to hit a stage of recovery whereby I could function in society. And yes, I did have times when things just got too hard. I did have moments when I wanted to give up. I did have times when it was all darkness. But today, I can look back at those times and see the growth I've made. 

I have already seen growth in you through your posts. If you are interested, you can even go back to your first ever post and track your SANE forums journey thus far! 

Also, before I became a peer worker on SANE, I was just a regular forum member just like you - reaching out for support from the community. I found it so beneficial, that I've reached out to pursue peer work. Who knows? You also be able to show others the hope that you have experienced?

You are the expert of your own journey.

tyme

[Captain24]

I’ve never had much patience @tyme 

I’ve always been told I don’t try hard enough or I’m not worth wasting time on or I’m not wanted or that I’m useless. So I’m trying to work through this and get myself out of this but I also have to fight against not being worthy. 

I can see some progress but I keep ending up here. I am learning and trying i guess it’ll take way more time than I thought. 

[Captain24]

I did just read it all back @tyme. It was really interesting. 

I really have come a long way. I was in a really bad place at all times and had no hope and no idea how to cope. 

I now do have some clarity in my mornings and I do need to have some self compassion in regards to how far I have actually come. Instead of focusing on how far I still have to go. 

Thank you

Captain24

[Captain24]

I did apply for that referral however I was declined. 

I tried on-line chat to try and help and understand a self care plan but it was unavailable. 

It feels like everywhere I try to turn is just not working.