I can’t cope

[Captain24]

It’s not that exciting!! 😂 @tyme 

I don’t really know what it entails other than I’m someone that work mates in need can come too. I don’t think anyone will so it’s probably a title of nothing. But who knows. I’ll be there is anyone wants too. 

Boundaries is a big thing but I am slowly getting there with them. My best friend came around the other day and I had a wall up so I didn’t take on her stuff but I was still available. Also my psych said to write a letter to her (not give it to her) to get the things she said out. But I didn’t need to. I will remember that for when or if I need it. 

Im not working Tuesday night so I made an extra appointment with my psych. I’ll have to tell her around my exposure therapy. Oh and I hate exposure therapy!!!! 

[tyme]

Hey @Captain24 , I'm slowly getting through your posts and it feels like I've missed out on soooo much! Yikes!

Things have been happening, and you have been conquering! Good on you.

I really hope this med does the trick. It's been too long and you deserve better. Did you see the Bipolar Resources Hub? https://www.sane.org/bipolar-resources

I look forward to talking about this more - maybe on Sunday night?

[tyme]

If they need a peer worker, doesn't that tell you something @Captain24 ? That there are MORE peopel than you probably think who really need the help. 

Whenever I share my story, you probably think, When will I be in that same place? Well it sounds like you're there! Good on you.

As for exposure therapy, I really think you have to want it. Yes you should feel uncomfortable, but it shouldn't put you in a place of being terrified.

Secret? I was TERRIFIED of dogs for most of my life. I didn't start being okay around dogs until I have about 17 or 18. 

When I say terrified, I mean utterly terrified. 

I know you probably can't stay to talk, but I'll tell you about that 'exposure' therapy another time.

[Captain24]

Yeah.. I’ve missed you @tyme. Lots has been going on. 

I’ll see how it all turns out. I’d like to be able to help others. Even if I can help just one person. I am concerned that the training could be triggering but I’ll have a plan sorted for afterwards to re-regulate. Hopefully. I can talk the talk but can I walk the walk! Maybe something is working with these med changes. I don’t know. Sometimes I think so and others I don’t. 

She is working on my snake phobia. She wants to get it under control quickly rather than leave it until later. She was really good, she watched me closely and stepped back if it was causing more distress. I need to sort it out though. I can’t even mow my lawn. I can’t go around to the side of the house that the snake was. I won’t let the dogs out unsupervised. It’s really bad. Plus I see the snake in my mind all the time and when I’m trying to go to sleep. 

I didn’t know that about you. That must have been really hard with so many dogs around. 

I read that bipolar stuff. Sometimes I find it gives me hope that one day I will be stable and stay stable. Then other times it’s only 2% of the population so why me? I spend most of my time in a depressive episode and reading about it makes it even more real. If that makes sense. I do wish people would understand it more. It’s not depression it’s deeper. 

Im going to get ready for bed but I will chat to you when I get home from work on Sunday. I really want to know about your exposure therapy. This is the first time I’ve experienced it. Plus your presentation (I know.. you haven’t done it yet!!) oh and your packing! 😜