My Mosaic

[Bow]

Hi @AuntGlow 

whatchoo get up to today?

[Jynx]

@AuntGlow @Bow ya, aww yay glad you've already met! 

Honestly, we all need floor-time sometimes hun!! Guess yours was just so overdue, your body went 'nope, no bed-time till floor-time is all caught up on!'  Teehee

Aww hun, I'm sorry the emotions are so big. Please remember you're going through A LOT and it's okay to feel a bit extra unsteady atm. Sending many 🫂🫂🫂🫂

[AuntGlow]

Thank you for asking @Bow !

I had a little croissant and coffee catch up with a friend and then walked around in the sun, which was so nice and nourishing. And now I am here! 

What about you? 🤗

[Bow]

Floor time is ok @Jynx  until it’s time to get up. Then I’m rudely reminded how old I am when all my joints crack and my body hurts. 

Finding it very difficult to be nice to myself. Lots of beating myself up, words and then physical hurts. Why do I let so much get to me? Just grow up and get over it already. 
pathetic really. 
And then the spiral kicks off again. Vicious cycle spiralling down

[Bow]

That sounds like a nice way to spend the day @AuntGlow 

had a bit of a busy morning. Shoved as much left over stuff from our garage sale as we could into the car and dropped that off at an op shop. Did the groceries. Picked up my meds for the week. Stopped off at chemistwarehouse to drop a couple of things and then home to unpack. In the afternoon I went and inspected a house- we are moving. Pulled down a shade cloth we put up here and got an application ready for a house we are looking at tomorrow that we love and will more than likely apply for. 
that was alot

not wonder I’m tired and crummy

[Jynx]

@Bow spiral has never taken you before, you got this hun. Nothing pathetic about the battles you are fighting and winning every single day hun. Be gentle with your wonderful self? Catch you tomorrow 💜

[Snowie]

@Bow 💌💌

[Bow]

Here I am again burdening people complaining. It never ends. Same shit diff day. Don’t know why I even bother.

SW called again today. I missed her call yesterday and could bare talking to her so didn’t call back. She left a message today and asked for me to message her back so she knows I’m ok? I sent her a picture of one of my communication cards. Basically telling her I’m not ok I’m struggling and finding words hard. She just replied back asking how the house hunting was going??? !!!!! 😩😩😩😩🤦🏼‍♀️ just disregard all that. I give up with her. Not worthy of proper support. 😩

I sorted a lot of junk today. Be nice if I could put myself out with it. 

Inspected a house today. Loved it. Applied. Now to wait. 

still feeling so very alone. It’s a horrible feeling knowing no one cares. Please don’t lie to make me feel better. Loneliness cuts so deeps. 

[Ru-bee]

@Bow I'm so sorry to hear that you felt your needs were so disregarded by your support today. 

It's sticking with me that you couldn't bare talking with her yesterday, was that because it was just really hard to talk in general, or do you think it was harder to talk to her?

I can absolutely say that you have people on here who truly care about you Bow, I would not lie about that. It might not be something you can take on right now, but I want to express that I really care about you and truly believe (and know it with certainty) that you are deserving of help. I'm so sorry that today has left you feeling any different

[Bow]

It was both @Ru-bee  last week at the beginning of the week I messaged her and told her I was really not doing well and asked if she could fit in a home visit at some point. She came by Thursday for 20mins and really didn’t ask how I was going, just wanted to know again, about the house hunting. 
So this week, yeah things are really hard and I’m struggling to talk about much in general. But I’m also feeling frustrated with her. 
it’s a very common struggle for me. Feels like a constant ongoing battle. Poor @Jynx  has heard it all. Really does just make me feel like no one cares, no one wants to support me. I’m just too difficult, always put in the too hard basket. And after every interaction it just reiterates all of that for me. Confirming that no one wants to care.