My Mosaic

[Jynx]

I know hey @Bow they're ruthless!!

I love Lindt, Creame Eggs, annnnnd anything gooey really ahaha what about you?

[Bow]

I love a Turkish delight egg @Jynx  and Cadburys did mini eggs with pineapple gooeyness. I got a bunny with clinkers crushed up into the chocolate which was pretty good this year. 

but really lets me honest, pretty much any chocolate, except for the cheap nasty stuff, is pretty good!

mum gave me a bag of Lindt Choc balls, salted caramel flavor. I haven’t touched them though cause I much prefer the white chocolate or plain ones.

oh and you know what I loved a couple of years ago…. Darrel Lee did licorice eggs. It was these tiny crunchy chunks of licorice mixed into the chocolate. So delic! So yum! I didn’t see them this year. 

[Jynx]

@Bow nah aniseed and me we are NOT friends so licorice is BLECH. Ahahah I'd DEVOUR the salted caramel balls!! Caramel and like, proper vanilla have always been my preferred flavours. A butterscotch pudding is like UGH YUM. Like if you wanted to lure me into a trap, put butterscotch pudding in the middle!! I'll plunge right on into the net, and be happy there eating pudding LOL

Hmm now I am definitely craving chocolate ahaha I know what I'm doing after work!! Eep which is sooooon!! You sleeping off your choccie coma tomorrow I'm guessing hehe!! 

I shall bid you night night hun! With cuddles a-plenty

🫂🫂🫂

[Bow]

Such a crappy time at arts and craft today. Triggered really badly which sent me into a bad spiral 

[Ru-bee]

Sorry to hear that @Bow sitting with you if you want to talk about it?

[Bow]

Meet a new girl there last week @Ru-bee  she was very chatty. Appearance wise there was a high probability that she had an ED. She kinda took a liking to me cause she had been told about my artist flare. 
She arrives today and sat down next to me. I said hi, but nothing else cause I was already not in such a good place. A worker came along and started engaging with her and word vomited everything that she is struggling with in relation to her ED. So much so that she said she would be expecting to go inpatient. They just sat there and chatted casually with no bother at all. The worker made her a drink to make her ‘feel better’ and of course she verbalized every struggle in drinking that drink. 

sigh

my ED monster jumped up in my head and went to work. There has been no stopping it. My distress level have risen. I’ve been so agitated. I was not comfortable being there but I felt incredibly trapped by the position in the room I was. There was so many people too. It was loud. My panic was creeping higher and higher. 

eventually seen a path to escape and headed outside. I sat out the front for 1/2hr and then another worker arrived and she asked if I was ok. Nope. But I couldn’t find anymore words. They were stuck inside. All that same stupid anger and frustration rose again. 
and now I was annoyed and angry even more cause I had allowed this stupid incident to ruin my time at group

[Ru-bee]

I can just imagine how hard that would have been @Bow 

Given how you explained what was happening for you in that moment, I think your reaction was completely understandable and probably the best thing you could've done by removing yourself to take a breather. 

To me it doesn't sound like you were letting anything happen, more that you were responding to what was happening around you and trying to keep yourself safe from this and the ED monster rising as a result. It's a shame that you were put in that position, but it sounds like you did the best you could in that situation

[Bow]

But it all just ends in a spiral of darkness

hows that even happen 

bottom of the pit

scary

dark

not ok

[Ru-bee]

Sitting right here with you @Bow 

Are you at home at the moment?

[Bow]

Curled up in bed @Ru-bee 

useless as always