My Mosaic

[Bow]

Kmart @rav3n @you got a local?

Little bits of rest here and there. Still lots to unpack and sort. I’m doing an IKEA hack for my arts and craft desk and picked up some cube shelves from marketplace today for it. 

[AuntGlow]

That's okay, this just tells me this part of you has been active for a while and has worked really hard to keep you safe (even though it doesn't necessarily feel like it!). 

It does suck feeling stuck in your body. 😣 

A phrase I learned during my trauma-informed yoga teacher training was "if nothing feels good, can you take note of what feels less bad?" That may sound rather simplified, but I think it helps to look at it that simply. 

Okay, so everything feels uncomfortable, but is there one sensation in my body that feels even slightly less uncomfortable? What happens if I breathe into that space? What messages does it have for me? 

Would you feel okay trying that now? @Bow 

[Bow]

I think that’s an interesting way to look at it perhaps @AuntGlow so if something feels the worst… what’s something that I can notice that’s not as bad as that worse thing? 
I’ll be totally honest… even that is feeling hard at the moment, and that’s cause I have all my ED feels…. And I’ve also got a lot of body aches and pains at the moment, partially from all the moving, partially from my  fibromyalgia and partially from the weight I’ve put on and my body simply not liking that. 
but I think when I crawl into bed shortly I will give it a go. See if I can notice anything. 

[AuntGlow]

@Bow I think taking notice from a safe and comfortable space like bed, is a wonderful idea. 

I really do empathise with so many of the things you are saying, and I truly understand how hard it can be to find those spaces of regulation and compassion when you're distressed and experiencing inflammation. 

Do you hug any toys or anything for comfort?

Also, I am curious, do you have any tattoos or like to express yourself through clothes/jewellery/hair colours? I have noticed so many people who experience challenges relating to their body find freedom in creative ways to express themselves. So, it just popped into my mind. (You don't need to answer if you don't wish to though. x)

[Bow]

Fell asleep on you again @AuntGlow!! 

Yes I have a soft cuddly toy.., mr sloth. His actually a weighted teddy. I received it last year when I completed a 25 week schema therapy group for eating disorders. I sleep with him now. 

I’ve actually noticed that too in that a lot of folks that I come across with EDs express themselves through tattoos and piercings and colourful hair. I have about 10 piercings, all ears. That’s it though. I’d like many more, but the cost! No tatts and I don’t do much with my hair anymore cause I struggle with hair loss and find it distressing.  When I started my schema group last year, I actually felt really uncomfortable and that I did not fit in or belong cause literally everyone had numerous facial piercings and bright coloured hair. 

I’ve just dropped my daughter off at school and am about to start on a couple of boxes I bought up from downstairs for my bedroom. Need to find places for things!  Then I have my arts and craft group. Not sure what we are doing today. I always take a few bits and pieces that I can work on independently cause colouring in or beading is what they usually do if nothing else is planned and I’m a bit over both of them. 

how is your day? I’d love to know more about you.,, what you get up to before you come join us here. 

[Bow]

Some days I feel heaps alone. Today is one of them.  I went to arts and craft. I greatly dislike the unwanted attention I get there. They always do it. But I sat quietly and did my craft. Apart from the above unwanted comments, no one really spoke to me. I assume my SW is away today. In a room full of people I felt incredibly alone

[AuntGlow]

That's okay @Bow. 💗

Aww that is so lovely!! What a perfect gift. I was looking at weighted teddies recently, so maybe this is my sign to get one? I will call it... Mrs Sloth! hehe 

Um wow, 10 is a massive feat. 👏 

It's okay that you don't choose to physically express yourself in the exact same way others do. (I get the comparisons though; I feel that way often as well.) I am sure lots of people admire things about you that you don't even realise. 

Speaking of, I would love to know... what is something you really like about yourself that you have chosen?

For example: your many ear piercings.

Does anything come to mind? 

Also, I just realised that I haven't asked much about your daughter. Do you feel comfortable telling me more about her? 

I read what you said about your arts and crafts group - are you feeling okay? It sounds like it wasn't very comfortable for you tonight... I hope being back in your safe space is helping. 🥰

Oooh, okay! Well, today I headed into the office for some training. I was able to spend some time with the other peer support workers, which was SO nice. Coffee is always a must, so I ventured out for a local brew. I would usually fit pilates, yoga, or dance into my day (and maybe see my partner or a friend), but tonight I decided to work here a little longer instead. 💕

[Bow]

Hi @AuntGlow 

I don’t have any capacity to reply tonight 

it’s a bad night

but thank you

[AuntGlow]

That's okay! You never have to reply straight away. 

We do say a lot of things to each other, so please take your time. 

Will you be okay with everything you are feeling at the moment? @Bow 💗

[Bow]

Don’t know @AuntGlow 

waiting for meds to kick in