Lived Experience Forum

[creative_writer]

Hi all

I’ll be spending some time away from the forums since I’m not doing so good, no safety concerns, but I think I’m just simply too much for everyone here on the forums. My emotions are too much. May brain is too much. I don’t want to drown people in my pain, everyone is better off with me off the forums. I hope our paths cross again. Will say goodbye and wish you all the best. Sorry for being a pain 

creative_writer

[Glisten]

@creative_writer  never mind everyone else.

What do you need?

G

[Ainjoule]

Hey @creative_writer 

No need to leave the forums for other people's benefit, you are definitely not a pain! Has anything brought these feelings on? Each person brings their own unique experience and perspective to the tapestry that are these forums, so we are better off standing with you. 

[creative_writer]

@Glisten I need the pain to stop.

@Ainjoule the emotions came full swing without expected. I’ve been ill, it’s driving me crazy. I haven’t been out of the house since almost a week now and been largely in bed. Since many people were not able to manage my emotions in the past, I grew up thinking I was “too much”. I’m always afraid that I’m burdening others will my BS

[Ainjoule]

Hey @creative_writer 

I've been there. I remember a period where I was basically in bed for a few weeks. I had to start by setting myself the tiniest of goals, and then when I could manage that, adding another little goal. But even if you can't manage that at the moment keep posting and talking about how you feel. You're not burdening other people, I'm glad when I see people being able to talk about what bothers them, at least I know they are getting it out somewhere. 

[Bow]

Aww @creative_writer  I’m heaps sad that you feel this way and that your mental health has declined so much that your brain is telling you this.  You bring so much to the forums and I really hope that you stick around. 

[creative_writer]

@Ainjoule I’m hoping to get back into the office for placement after public holiday. I’m at the end of the illness patch. I’ll be wearing a mask. Had three people in my household test for COVID, I was lucky to be negative. Must have gotten the flu or something, it wiped my out for a week and left me in a not so good place psychologically. I know this probably doesn’t help, but is there a different version of me who is happier in another alternative universe. Who didn’t have to deal with all the shit I had to. I know it’s only going to make me miserable and jealous thinking about it. Maybe too much philosophical thinking on my brain’s part on a world that may or may not even exist.

@Bow I might be on here today. Tomorrow, I don’t know. I have things to do for placement too.

[Ainjoule]

@creative_writer Yeah, that Covid is getting around hey. I'm glad you are here on the forums today. Hope your get your placement. The many worlds theory is indeed interesting. 

[creative_writer]

@Ainjoule yes there is a lot of covid and flu going around. I think I need a proper day-work from office. I haven’t been to placement physically in person since Tuesday. I only managed one day from home afterwards, but that was super hard to get through on Friday, since illness was still more intense then.

If many world existed, I’m not even sure if there would be multiple forms of us. I don’t know. I just know that sometimes I wish things were just different for me

[Eve7]

Hey @creative_writer I’m really sorry you feel that you’re too much but for me that is something not true.

If it helps I am currently in the pits of despair too…excuse the Anne of Green Gables quote but that’s the truth and we need each other.

Please do what is best for you but please know you are always welcome here.

Lots of love Eve7 🩵🩵🩵