why can't I cope longer?

[Appleblossom]

I am not too bad, but busy and logged on late. @Former-Member 

Its cold.  Did mending job been putting off, and fielding calls from my son.  Also physio.

Ha ha about tip shop ... I only shop for what I NEED these days .. or I might pick up too much stuff I can afford and fill my house with tip stuff ... lol. I only go a couple times per year lately ...  that is an advantage of being in the one spot ... I have been here 18 years.  Sydney has a lot of issues with it, also too damn expensive.  FInd a place you can afford to dig in to ... and do all the nesting things ... it will bring out the best in you ... maybe days driving distance from the grave.  Visiting graves has been a thing for me.  Yes your son may move anywhere, and it is best he feels free to go where he needs to go while he is young.  JMO. Maybe you are a closet quilter ?? My mending today actually involved very basic quilting to repair a mattress protector ... none of the decorative stuff ... lol  blah ...

Maybe that is why I need a cleaner.  She only does an hour per fortnight. I really could not physically manage everything alone.  You might be younger and fitter than I, not sure ... Trying to do everything inside and out ... was putting out my neck quite regularly.  It should not be necessary for that to occur.  Anyway .. I ended up being my paver>>LOL... the gender divide in activities has not been a luxury for me either.

The physio has made such a difference to me.  A rare find.  I was worried when she kept "putting" "God" on me, randomly without listening, but I spoke about some of my issues ... re religion ... and eventually she looked at the news and realised.  I have made a little physio garden as thank you and a young receptionist seems to really appreciate it.  I gave her professional specialised peer article ... etc etc ... talked re plan.  It is nice when the God people actually turn out to be GOOD people.

I "share" more with the physio than the cleaner.  Thats alright. I am learning and have the luxury these days ... to be able to do the horses for courses thingy ... meaning ... make insightful choices ... about how much, and with whom to share ... NEVER had the MUXURY before this year.

I like your ... Lets never give up.

[Adge]

Hi @Former-Member The 2 stitches sticking out (through skin) are internal, not outside.

Which is why it is hard to deal with (& distressing).

They were supposed to be dissolvable (absorbed) stitches - yet they are not.

GP discovered (said) that they are permanent stuff - like fishing line.

Yes, lower abdomen.

My ear wax problem is made worse (or more regular) - by having to wear earplugs, because of my very noisy neighbours (with their booming outdoor speakers).

Ear plugs push wax further in (apparently).

My 2 Peachfaces seem good & happy (so far) - no sign of any aggression towards the Cockatiels (Weeros) & Budgie, in same cage.

It's a Big Cage (or small aviary) on Wheels - I try to keep all my birds in pairs (2) with some extra company (other birds).

I always feel so sad when I read about your grief, losing your daughter.

I don't want you to feel worse, by my mentioning it...

Yet it's so hard for you - gut-wrenching, I reckon.

I just want to be able to bring these people back to life, I don't want them gone - sadly I cannot do that....

Adge

[Former-Member]

Thanks @Adge, ye, the teas still come to mention my beautiful girl, and so many lost moments. Thank you. Sorry about this health things and crappy neighbours. Ask God to move them on maybe. I just saw Zoe7 popped in. Glad for F&H she did. Not sure what happened there, behind the scenes stuff maybe. Makes me sad, found this pretty butterfly for her, and all the loss in the World. I can't wait to go to the promised land where there's no more tears. I'm sorry to everyone that I'm so sad so much - can't stop it. Broken heart I guess. Not much isvworsevthsn watching your baby take her last breath 😧😟😩😠😭SI😟😩😠😟😩😠😭SI😞😢😢...

Never mind. Cuppa tea fixes everything.  Actually, bought decaf cuppacino pks today, might have one of them

[Former-Member]

[Jynx]

Hi @Former-Member, 

Just checking in, sending some solidarity and support, especially if you're experiencing SI. Let us know if you feel like you're unsafe at all.

[Former-Member]

I'll be ok thanks @Jynx, but probably need to go self care a while. SI comes over me with emotional distress so yeah, need to calm myself. Good Night 💙

[Adge]

Hi @Jynx Your Mushroom (Toadstool) Avatar Picture has Gone (I miss that one) - replaced by a German Shepherd Dog....

Adge

[Adge]

Good night @Former-Member Have a Good Sleep (I hope)....

Adge

[Former-Member]

So sorry @Former-Member ... there really are no words I can use that will ever take away the pain of such tragic loss. I cannot even imagine how hard it was, and continues to be, for you. I think I just wanted to let you know that I hear you, and my heart aches for you.

I'm really sorry I cannot help. 

Sending love and emotional strength.

Sherry 💔

[Jynx]

Hey @Adge! Aww I thought it was time for a little change, and it's actually a fox! They're my favourite animal  This particular foxy has what is called melanism - the opposite of albinism - hence being all black and orange! Maybe I'll swap back to a mushroom once I feel like shaking things up again