I can’t cope

[Jynx]

@Captain24 oh hun, I am so sorry that you are experiencing such intense hopelessness, it is so hard to hear. I can only imagine how heavy everything feels for you right now. I'm gonna flick you an email so keep an eye out. You may not see any light for the future but I believe there always is, and am holding onto that hope for you 💜

[Captain24]

Thank you both for your support @Jynx @tyme. I know I don’t make it easy for you. I don’t think I’m making it easy for

my team either. 

Im scared to stop trying as I don’t know where that will take me but I guess maybe it will be less exhausting. 

I feel so much like I’m failing and that I’m letting everyone down. 

Maybe you’re right maybe if I just stop fighting it’ll be easier. 

I need to listen to the advice of you that have both been through it and made it out. 

[Jynx]

@Captain24 I think you think it's much harder than it is to support you hun. Sitting with folks in the muck is easy for me... cos I know how much value it has, because of how many have sat in the muck with me in the past, and it meant the world to me. 

You're failing nothing, because you keep on keeping on. Proud of you for that, and for your efforts. Like this one I posted in the meme thread yesterday: 

I'm off, sending you one last hug for the night 💜

[Captain24]

Thanks so much @Jynx 

Have a good night

[Captain24]

Thank you @tyme @Jynx 

I can’t express how much I appreciate you both especially tonight

It’s been a stressful couple of days at work. There is also so much going on in my head and with my body.

I just think it the best and safest option to go to bed. 

[tyme]

We appreciate you trusting us @Captain24 . 

We acknowledge your challenges, but like you said, we have also been through very difficult periods in our lives. Hence we are here to share that hope of recovery. 

I promise it won't always stay this way.

I hope work gets better for you. It sure sounds very stressful - sounds dangerous too. Please don't drive through anymore floods!

[Captain24]

I’ve woken up this morning and I’m really struggling. I have no energy and I feel really lightheaded. 

I have to work for the next 3 nights and I really just don’t want to. The last 2 shifts have been really rough and scary. Now it’s been raining all night and still raining. That means the roads at work will be a mess and the trucks will be sliding everywhere. Im scared to go. 

I need to do so much before I go to bed at 12. I just can’t and don’t want to. 

I am not ok and I don’t want to keep on going like this. I don’t see what else to do. 

[Shaz51]

Hello @Captain24 ❤️

[Snowie]

@Captain24 I know those feelings hon, they are really difficult to sit with. Especially when they have been around for a long time.

Sitting here with you through all of this 💗

[Captain24]

Hi @Shaz51. How are you and Mr Shaz coping? 

Thanks @Snowie. It’s hard. Just wishing it would all end. Hope you are doing ok