I can’t cope

[Jynx]

@Captain24 I don't know how to tell you this other than bluntly - I'd be monumentally devastated to lose you. I'd need soooo much time off work to grieve. I'd need counselling  and supervision for ages, and I really don't know what I'd do with myself. I'm just being honest.

You don't even realise how much of a hole you'd leave, do you? And it's okay, I understand why. I can't force you to believe me. I just hope that some part of you can read this and take at least some of it in. 

I'm so glad to hear that you're still trying to do stuff to support yourself hun. Frustrating as it is when it doesn't seem to work!! You're all fresh n clean now tho so that's a plus!! What's next steps for you? 

OMG did you know that's why dog toys squeak? To simulate the sounds of prey animals!! So gnarly!

[Captain24]

A little bit of me believes you but I’m really struggling to accept it and the rest of me just thinks you’re saying it @Jynx. I don’t mean to be dismissive. I’m really sorry. 

No I wouldn’t leave a hole. It would only be the fact that I can’t do stuff that others want. That’s the only reason they would miss me. 

I don’t have any next steps. It didn’t work so it’s not worth the disappointment and I don’t know what else to do anyway. My psych said a mindful shower. 

It's all getting worse

[Jynx]

@Captain24 you don't need to apologise, you're just being honest with me - and I appreciate that. It's okay, I don't take offence hun. I will be honest in return though - it is frustrating that you can't believe me. I know it's not your fault and I do not blame you for it, I just want to be transparent and open! And you know, that frustration is born from the fact that I care so much about you, I almost wanna shake ya!! And shout at ya!! 

"PLEASE LET US LOVE YOU!! YOU ARE VALUED AND YOU MATTER SO MUCH TO US!!" 

Hmm... We can take it all back to basics maybe - have you had enough food and water today? Have you gotten a little exercise? Had a little stretch? 

Also might be good to figure out if there's anything to keep an eye out for, a 'sign' that things have reached crisis point and it's time to contact some support. What do you reckon? 

Hugs comin atcha - nope, you don't get a choice, you're getting CHERISHED right now and I will not take no for an answer!! 

🫂🫂🫂

[Captain24]

If you shook me I think I’d just cry @Jynx. I’d just collapse in your arms. I’d just breakdown. 

I’ve eaten, I’ve had fluid just not water, I stretch a bit at the stupid training day today. 

I don’t know until it’s too late. Until

Im there ready to go. I need to take my meds, 

I am feeling your love just struggling to accept it. 

[Jynx]

@Captain24 Aww darlin, I'd keep you wrapped up and hold ya till it all stopped! And it would be gentle shaking I promise 😉

I'm glad you got some strechies in. 

Is it your PRN? Hope it helps! Do you have your sleeping med at the same time each night or could you have it sooner? 

Oh yay! I'm glad it is felt, and I trust in the fact that you will be able to accept it in the not-too-distant future. It's okay if you can't trust in that just yet, I got enough faith in ya for us both for now hehe 💜

[Captain24]

No it’s my regular meds @Jynx. I’m scared to go near them. Don’t know if I can be trusted

I’m not ok

[Jynx]

@Captain24 I gotchu hun. Flicking through an email just to check in 💜

[Ru-bee]

Hi @Captain24, I can see last night was a really hard one for you and have been thinking about you this morning and wanted to check in on how today is feeling? 

[tyme]

@Captain24 !!!! Are you around? Missed you.

[Captain24]

@tyme