Lived Experience Forum

[creative_writer]

@Snowie I don’t have to have to get married, it’s sort of expected. I don’t know what people have against single parenting, adopting a child sounds like a lovely idea too. What if someone is happier that way? My biological clock is ticking anyways, almost 30. I’m on so much meds, I can’t have children on them

[Snowie]

@creative_writer Anyone who is capable can become a parent. Families come in all different shapes and sizes. Single parents, married parents, mixed families, step parents, it doesn't matter. 

Children thrive in a loving and nurturing environment. Anyone can give this.

You are more than capable of providing this. You are a strong, loving and extremely capable person hon. 

[creative_writer]

@Snowie I just don’t know if I have what it takes to be physically intimate after SA. My parents obviously don’t want me to block the option of marriage altogether. I just don’t know how it’ll work. I can’t be bothered to find anyone either.

I know give it a few years, I might be able to manage a kid. I need saving, a job, a roof and better management of my mental health

[Snowie]

@creative_writer you are not defined by whether you have a partner or not. There are people that live amazing lives and are single. There is nothing that you can't achieve in your life, whether you are married or not.

It's not as if you are blocking the option of marriage, you are just looking at different alternates. Nothing wrong with that.

I can understand how hard it is to be intimate after SA. It takes a lot of time, trust and probably a lot of other things too.

[creative_writer]

@Snowie I kind of feeling like blocking the option. I’ve already told them I don’t want to marry. Better to not marry if I’m not going to fulfil the desires of my partner. The marriage won’t be healthy for either of us. I’m pretty adamant on avoiding physical intimacy in romantic relationships and have been for a while. It’ll take something significant to change my mind. I never ever feel fully safe around people, don’t know how I can ever

[Snowie]

All I can say is that you need to do what is right for you. If you feel more comfortable by yourself @creative_writer than so be it.

You have to do what makes you happy.

[creative_writer]

@Snowie they’re not going to block the option, they’re still going to look. Can’t exactly stop them. They think I may change my mind. Can’t exactly have a relationship without the physical, my mind just won’t have it right now

[Jynx]

@creative_writer howdy! Hope it's okay I poke my nose in, just wanted to talk a bit about the fact that not everyone sees physical intimacy as a necessary part of relationships! I'm demisexual and grey asexual and have two long-term platonic life partners. We don't share physical intimacy but we do have emotional intimacy, and we're pretty content. I know the ace community isn't huge, but there's definitely folks out there who don't see 'no sex' as a deal-breaker 😉

Hope it's okay I've jumped in, and if I've misread or missed context and this is actually irrelevant, then that's my bad!

[Snowie]

I agree with @Jynx 

There are so many different types of relationships @creative_writer 

It is not just black and white.

[creative_writer]

@Jynx and @Snowie I guess it’s the cultural pressure of what a “relationship” should look like. I do honestly crave more emotional than physical intimacy. It’s just how I am. It’s not that I hate physical contact, I can do it when it comes from certain people and if I am in the mood, but I am still very touch sensitive. When it’s too much, it’s too much