Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[BlueBay]

@Daisydreamer  why is that - we (pwBPD) can give so much love and empathy thats really deep, we can so much about others.  But then we can feel the pain so deep.  It's so painful.  I don't understand.

when i say we i mean 'me'

[tyme]

@BlueBay ,

The lives of pwBPD are so unstable, yet there is obviously something that draws carers to them!

As for childhood trauma and BPD. I myself did not endure any major traumatic incident/s, yet I do believe BPD stems from something triggered in the early years. It could be cultural, religious, etc. That is, a fundamental need has not been met while growing up. This can even include emotional cold parents who did not show love. All this changes the way a child grows up.

Hope this somewhat answers your question @BlueBay 

[Shaz51]

@Daisydreamer , @tyme 

One of my customers is very worried about her grandson showing BPD signs like her daughter in law 

Is BPD is pasted down to the next generation like other MI 

My 4 step children all have some degree of MI like their dad 

[Daisydreamer]

Question 2: What can caring for someone with BPD look and feel like?

[tyme]

A borderline’s extreme emotional hypersensitivity means regular episodes of emotional reactivity with a slow return to their emotional baseline.

[tyme]

From experience, caring for someone with BPD means you are taken for this roller coaster ride whether you want to or not. As mothers, fathers and carers of people with BPD, things can be great one moment, then not before long, the world falls apart.

Caring for someone with BPD can be emotionally draining for the borderline as much as it is for their carers. Carers of pwBPD find themselves always on high alert.

It is very important to have your own support network as you navigate this journey.

[Determined]

I can definitely see how hard it was for you for your wife not to bond with your youngest.

BPD seems to affect mostly relationships. I can see it from your darling's side - if she doesn't bond, then she won't get hurt. This is because the pain of getting hurt is so real and so painful, that it is better to avoid attachment in the beginning.

Do you think this relates?

Possibly @tyme 

But I suspect (and only a feeling so I may be off base) I believe she was at the point of leaving (Had an influence that could only be described as evil) but after getting pregnant she felt trapped. And kind of blamed bub 😥

[Maybe1]

I have read that as more research is done that genetics may also be a factor in developing BPD?

[tyme]

Hi @Shaz51 ,

BPD is behavioural. I'm not a clinician or doctor, but from experience, children pick up the behaviours of their parents so that BPD behaviours become 'learnt behaviours'.

BPD is most commonly seen in late teenage-hood and early adulthood as behaviours have been developed and established. It is good to consult a GP/specialist if concerned.

tyme

[cloudcore]

Hi @Farmboy ,

Welcome to the forums, thank you for sharing your story. It sounds like it has been a really stressful and even scary time for you, supporting your wife through her mental health struggles. Though I can really hear the love and care you have for your wife in spite of those difficulties, it sounds like it would be overwhelming.

I would really like to encourage you, and anyone reading along that may be in distress, to reach out to 1800 RESPECT or Lifeline 13 11 14, should you need any additional support around this. Please also reach out to Lifeline or 000 if you are ever worried about your safety. 💛

I hope you find a supportive community here,

cloudcore ⛅