Running

[Jynx]

@avant-garde hope it is minimal not-fun, maximal good-for-you then if you go hun. 

They are big and they might take over, but just reminding ya that emotions are always temporary💜

[avant-garde]

@Jynx I'm so often alone with my emotions and I hate feeling alone with them

It's like the vulnerable child sitting in the corner on her own because there's no one who cares enough to help her...

[Jynx]

@avant-garde *sits in corner with you* 

It goes a long way, feeling held. I may only hold you in spirit, but the gentleness is still the same, I hope 💜

[avant-garde]

@Jynx 

I told my SW yesterday about the guy who we were talking about on Saturday... she said it's another example of me villianising him and that its my trauma brain doing what my trauma brain does. 

But I also think that she reverts to that response for me and discounts and invalidates that what he did was actually abuse...

[Jynx]

@avant-garde in other cases this has been pointed out to you, has she been correct? Might be worth touching base on it again and just pointing out that if she insists on it, she might actually be gaslighting you. Food for thought, anyway.

*more hugs, always*

[avant-garde]

@Jynx 

Wasn't ready for a challenge, or to feel the need to defend myself with my head telling me that you're agreeing with her. 

The other 2 instances she was correct and she did have a point. The other 2 instances were interpersonal issues. The other 2 instances were not abuse. 

*runs away crying*

[Jynx]

@avant-garde I did not intend to challenge you, I was seeking information. My apologies, it was a bit abupt. 

I do not agree with her at all, in fact I can see that this has had a big impact. The lack of awareness and lack of belief in you to know when something is or isn't abuse is itself a perpetuation or reminder of the ways you were manipulated. 

Just cos she was right before, doesn't mean you can't call her out for being wrong now. 

*Sits and waits to see if you come back, but realises they gotta go now...*

[avant-garde]

@Jynx every time I disagree with her she would push so so hard to prove why she's right, that even when I didn't want to talk about something she would make me talk about it to prove why she's right. 

But yes... It's time for you to go...

[Jynx]

@avant-garde 👋😊🐝🌺

[avant-garde]

@Jynx I figured you would get to me