Feeling pretty lost

[Ozgray]

Hi everyone 

I'm new here. 

I'm 50 married. Have a young one.

• I feel pretty useless.wife keeps telling me how stupid and useless I am.constanlty refuses sex like for nearly 2yrs.says I'm to fat and unattractive. Keeps breaking up with me.told me she relized she's turning 40 and is pretty much done with wasting her time with me.i don't know what to do or were to go.

[Jynx]

Hey @Ozgray welcome to the forums, glad you found us.

I'm really sorry to hear that you're being treated this way, that is definitely not ok behaviour! I'm sure there are others here who can relate. Relationships can be soooo challenging, and they're so important for our mental health, so it's no wonder this is making you miserable!

Just a thought, but have you chatted to Mensline before? Also you mention you have a young one, which would make it really challenging too! Does your little one witness the way your wife treats you? How old are they?

I'm sorry you're dealing with this, but pls know you're not alone 💜

[Ozgray]

Daughter is 9yrs old.she sees how I get treated.alwsys knows how bad it is for me

[tyme]

Does your daughter have supports in place to help her work through what is happening? @Ozgray 

I hear it is not easy to reach out at all. We appreciate you opening up to the community.

[Tilz]

@Ozgray  hi. welcome to the forum. Im really sorry to hear that. Please dont let words to fall you down.Those are external factors that people see.Try to be strong. Think about your health . What if you go for a gym? And let your wife think that you concern about you too

[oceangirl]

Hi @Ozgray 

I hear you

Welcome to the forum

Sorry you're being treated like this, not because your wife does not want a physical relationship (that's her choice) but her disregard for your feelings. The relationship seems unhealthy, and this would affect your health and wellbeing. You deserve to be treated with respect and love. 

Have you thought about what you would like to do?

Glad you came here, to the forum, we are a good bunch here and supportive of each other. Keep your chin up. 

[MJG017]

Hi @Ozgray, welcome to the forum.

I'm so sorry to hear how you've been treated, no one deserves that.  Your daughter must be very confused and upset as well.  As someone who was always someone who could be labelled a 'people pleaser', I think you need to start thinking about what you want and what you need to make you happy.  If your wife keeps treating you this way, especially in front of your daughter, who does it help by continuing thing as they are?  None of you are helped by any of this.

Late last year I joined a local Men's mental health support group and I have found that to be a great help for me, maybe something similar could be helpful for you as well.

Let us know how you doing and we're her to listen and support you as best we can.  Take care of yourself Ozgray. 

[8ppleTree]

Hi @Ozgray 

Welcome to the forums. 

That sounds like a really sad situation. I wonder whether couple's counselling might be an option for you both? It can be really damaging to self esteem with the break down of a relationship, leading to feelings of rejection and hurt, for anybody. Staying in it without being able to heal it wouldn't be good for anybody's wellbeing. 

Do you have things in your life that make you feel good, positive and healthy? Good friendships and hobbies? 

Keep building the positive in your life, no matter what happens. Your daughter will be proud to see her parents living well.