Battles

[Dreamy]

@rav3n oh no, I hope you are better soon ❤️. 

I'm having a bit of a tough moment right now but trying to get through it. 

[rav3n]

thank you 💙 @Dreamy 

sorry things are tough for you, i'm here if you wanna chat or even if you just want someone to sit with you. is it a busy Sunday for you? or are you able to get some rest today?

[Dreamy]

@rav3n I'm just really overwhelmed with these thoughts, it's been 10 days now and I don't know why they won't just stop or at least ease off. I was hoping I could rest today but it seems I'm not able to. I've been up and down so many times. 

[rav3n]

@Dreamy the not knowing when those thoughts are gonna ease off makes it more overwhelming, hey. it's like, if there was some sorta timeline and we knew that after X days it would defs get a bit better, it would make the whole process a lil less stressful. 

the only thing i know, is that the pain, the overwhelm - it won't last forever. fingers crossed the thoughts ease up soon though. besides colouring, has anything else been helpful in calming or distracting from those thoughts?

[Dreamy]

@rav3n it's just never been like this before, like I'll have a wave of thoughts every now and then but not as long as this. Yes if I knew when they were going to ease it would be alot easier to manage. 

Not alot helps even when doing things the thoughts are still constantly there, like they might fade slightly to the back but they are still there. It just feels like it's getting worse and I've found myself in some dangerous situations because of it. Trying hard to keep up with distractions but sometimes there's only so much one can do before it's too much and I need a break. 

It's the dissociating that's getting really scary cos it's happening more and more often and I'm losing time in between those moments. I've never really dealt with it before so it's another thing I'm trying to learn how to manage. 

[rav3n]

@Dreamy yeah i get what you mean about it being scary, especially when it hasn't been this intense before. as frustrating and scary it is for those thoughts to keep popping up constantly, just know that the thoughts aren't a reflection of reality/truth. i know it's hard fighting them and remembering that when its super consistent, and i can see you're always trying your best - which shows a lot of strength. 

i find that distractions are temporary and i too need to keep switching between distraction techniques or else they don't end up working too well. 

unfortunately i don't know too much about dissociation. i've actually started experiencing it last year and i haven't really found strategies myself besides cold showers/holding ice/switching sensations, etc. has your GP been able to provide you answer support with it? 

[Dreamy]

@rav3n it's getting harder to work out what's real and what's not anymore when it comes to reality. Just getting exhausted from trying and it's worn me down to the point of almost giving up. But somehow I still manage to find a way to get through each moment even when it feels impossible. 

Yes I bounce from activity to activity at the moment just trying to keep up with those distractions. Sometimes it's only a few minutes that i can do something before i need to do something else otherwise it's just not going to work. 

I haven't had a chance to talk to my GP about it yet but I do have an appointment tomorrow so I'll chat with him then. Still haven't worked out a solid method for when I'm having flashbacks so now having to work out the dissociation aswell, it's so much effort. 

Got a wave of urges over me at the moment so trying to ride that out without giving in to them is proving to be a challenge. 

[rav3n]

@Dreamy i really hope your GP will have some answers for you about the dissociation, it's definitely overwhelming to deal with on your own.

you can get through it, i know it hard but you've shown us that you can get through the hard parts too. here for you 💙

also i wanted to show you - got this lil stich to hopefully display in my car:

[Dreamy]

@rav3n not sure my Gp will have any answers as it's not really something he deals with but I'll at least be able to share what's been going on. 

Thankyou ❤️. Right now things are not great, I'm waiting to get through to LL but I've been waiting for a while and I've already started to lose control. Trying my best to keep myself safe but needing that bit of extra support. 

Awww he is super cute 😍 

[rav3n]

i hope just getting that chance to open up and talk about it with GP helps @Dreamy 

did you manage to have a chat with them yet? glad you're reaching out 💙

hehe he is, isn't he!! i'm going for a blue theme with my car and he fits it perfectly 😋

what colour is your car? do you like accessorising your car or just keeping it as it is?