Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[tyme]

@BlueBay @Determined @PTG , this may be of interest to you:

As a carer for someone with BPD, have you ever heard your loved one say?

• “I hate you!”
• “Why did you leave me?”
• “I don’t know who I am.”
• “Self-harm takes the pain away.”
• “I feel so empty and alone.”
• “No one understands.”
• “I can’t live without you.”

For me, I know I have certainly used these statements...regularly.

For someone with BPD, life may look like this:

Yes – life is like a roller coaster for pwBPD – up, down, round and round. Does this roller coaster ride remind you of how you currently feel?

People with BPD often live in a world of emotional instability. They are so passionate and feel so deeply that it HURTS! These emotions are reliant on what is happening in their environment. For example, hearing a triggering word may send a borderline into complete turmoil or rage.

[BlueBay]

can definitely relate to what you're saying @tyme 

[Determined]

@Jillaroo  O feel for you in your situation.

My wife (aka darling) didn't bond with our youngest until he was 3+ yo. It is tough.

To the point she was scared to be alone with him. He is now very much a mummy's boy. So with some gentle preserving things can change. 

[cloudcore]

Hi @Shaz51 and @Jillaroo , thanks for joining us tonight! 💛

[StuF]

Thanks for the tag @cloudcore , but not really relevant to me. Have a great discussion!

[cloudcore]

No worries @StuF , have a good evening! 😊

[Daisydreamer]

Diagnosis really can be a light bulb moment @PTG, and it sounds like it has been very important part of the journey for you and your family. Learning and openness to reaching out in new spaces is such a courageous and important step! How have you been finding therapy so far? Have there been any resources in your learnings that you have found helpful?

[Determined]

@Daisydreamer I'm a bit lagging in my response here.

What support do I have around me now.

1. My mum, this was really hard to begin with as it seems wrong on so many levels to discuss 'problems ' concerning my wife to my mum.

2. I catch up with a friend from church as a form of accountability partner. We share also similar challenges with children. 

3. I just started in a new job and my supervisor seems to be most understanding. 

[tyme]

Hi @Jillaroo ,

Thanks you for posting. I can see how much work you are putting into supporting this young mum. It certainly can be so frustrating, especially when children are involved. 

It is good that this young mum IS actually receiving support at this time. Unfortunately, BPD is a SLOW moving illness. It takes a long time to develop and a lengthy time to be brought back to a functional baseline. 

In that time, it is important that the child/ren receives support to manage their own struggles and challenges - perhaps through school counsellors?

As for the young mum, an important part of recovery is empowering her to make decisions - what is it that she wants for herself and her child/ren long term? It is only then that she can actively work towards bettering herself and her family.

Any thoughts @Jillaroo ?

[BlueBay]

i am so happy you have great support @Determined