Time away from forums

[Snowie]

I guess we don't know what is in our future @creative_writer and that comes with relationships too.

I really hope that you do find someone in time and that you do find that comfort and trust with them.

Am going to head to bed now. Thanks so much for the chat tonight. There are so many things that effect our MH, this is just one of them.

I hope you are able to get some sleep tonight and tomorrow is a good day for you.

Chat soon hon 💗💗

[creative_writer]

@Snowie I was really tired last night so went to bed early. Uncertainty is hard to sit with particularly when you’ve experienced trauma. I’ve also read uncertainty is difficult for those on the spectrum.


I hope you’re doing well this morning 💖

[Snowie]

Good morning @creative_writer 

Start of a new week. Hoping it goes well for you.

💗💗

[creative_writer]

@Snowie sorry I didn’t respond earlier, been emotionally exhausted. Had return of body flashbacks on Sunday and Monday. Oddly, I had an onset of body flashbacks during a mindfulness exercise on placement, don’t think that ever happened before.

I hope you are doing okay, hon 💖

[Snowie]

@creative_writer I'm sorry about your body flashbacks. I know how hard they are to deal with and how exhausting they can be.

[creative_writer]

@Snowie sometimes I feel like I’m digging myself into a hole. I’ve chosen to live life this way, always on guard and not letting other people in. Of course the emotions will build up. I didn’t even come on SANE Sunday night when I was having body flashbacks. I didn’t tell anyone, I just kept it to myself. I was too paralysed to say a thing even though I wanted to. The flashback obviously carried into the next day

[Snowie]

Have you ever tried writing down your flashbacks and how you are feeling @creative_writer?

I understand how hard it is to get the words out at times, so I try and write. It doesn't always work but it is a good alternative.

[creative_writer]

@Snowie I haven’t ever written out a flashback, I’ve written poems which helps, but I’m not really the journaling type because I feel like I get a lot more out of poetry.

I hate admitting that I often feel lonely, I feel like I don’t meet many people on the same wavelength as me. I also probably mask a lot, which probably adds to the disconnect. The more I think about it, the more I see avoidant traits. Like I don’t know if I have avoidant personality disorder, but the traits are becoming more and more obvious. I feel totally worthless and I’ve convinced myself I am, and feel like I have to be guarded, I have hypersensitivity to criticism, I feel too inept to have social conversations. It’s probably a trauma response, though I don’t believe AVPD has to be lifelong as they often say personality disorders are. I don’t know if I’m reading too much into it as it’s hard not to in the industry. There probably is a part of me who also believes I’ll get hurt in other ways, like be exploited, so there is that too

[Snowie]

Just a thought @creative_writer If poetry helps then keep doing that.

I think with MI, it is normal to feel what you are feeling. I have a lot of those feelings too, and I'm sure there are others that feel similar to you.

I also do think it is a trauma response, especially when we have been hurt in the past.

I'm going to head of now. Not much sleep last night so struggling to stay awake tonight.

I hope tonight goes ok for you and tomorrow goes well.

Talk again soon.

[creative_writer]

@Snowie I hope you slept well last night and today was kind to you 💖🫂